Client Education

Care Giving and Caregivers

Stop Burnout Before It Stops You

By: Deborah Sullivan Brennan, Special to AccentCare

First the job becomes exhausting, then overwhelming. Feelings of despair set in as a family caregiver becomes consumed by the role of tending to a sick or aging loved one. The unrelenting stress can ultimately lead to depression, personal health problems and resentment toward the patient, unless the caregiver spots the symptoms and seeks help soon.

Caregivers must wear multiple hats of nurse, nutritionist, companion and hand servant as they bathe, dress, feed, administer medical care to and comfort their loved one. Grief and sadness at the slow decline of a parent or spouse compound the many demands.

Warning signs of "caregiver burnout" include "depression, irritability, too many tasks to deal with, coming down with symptoms like colds,? said Rebecca Huerta Sussman, intake coordinator at the Coast Caregiver Resource Center in Santa Barbara, Calif. Caregivers may begin "feeling helpless, even hopeless, feeling like they can? go on any longer with the caregiving or with their own lives," she said. Weight gain or loss, and changes in the caregiver's eating and sleeping habits may also signal emotional overload, said Linnea Goodrich, director of operations for AccentCare.

The most serious cases of burnout may compromise the well-being of the patient, when the caregiver? devotion turns to indifference or even anger, experts say. "Maybe you'ree finding yourself losing patience with your family member," said Monique Snyder, a certified geriatric care manager in Carmel, Calif. "If you're finding you're leaning toward an abuse-type situation, taking your frustrations out on your loved one, those are the biggest indicators that you need to have a family meeting to discuss how responsibilities can be divvied up more equally, or using more respite services."

Sometimes a turn in the patient's health will be the catalyst for change. John and Claire Sullivan of Auburn, Maine, happily cared for Claire's mother, Alice, for 14 years. But by the age of 99, Alice's needs had grown, and at 69 herself, Claire couldn't keep up. "Ten hours out of every day I was doing something for her, whether it was getting a book, or some other little thing," Claire said. "It wasn't her actual physical needs I was dealing with -- it was her personal needs. It just got to be too much for me. I would go to bed at night, and I would be listening for her." After Alice suffered a stroke, the Sullivans decided she needed medical supervision that they couldn't provide and placed her in an assisted-living home.

Caregivers can nip burnout in the bud by taking time out for fun or relaxing activities, Goodrich said. Caregiver support groups can offer practical advice and emotional solace. Adult day-care facilities and respite help can also bring relief. "If you find that you're overreacting to situations you don't normally, you're probably stressed out and need a break," Goodrich said.

Deborah Sullivan Brennan is a freelance writer based in Idyllwild, Calif. She previously worked for newspapers including the Los Angeles Times, the Los Angeles Daily News and the Palm Springs Desert Sun.